Alone/Together COVID-19, teaching us how to re-connect to those struggling with addiction in our community! By: Moshe A. Yachnes,LCSW,CSAT – Founder of a Jewish Rehab For all of us and thousands around the globe, the last coupe of months have been devastating. Death, sickness, and unprecedented financial loss or insecurity has plagued the world. Collectively and individually we have made the decision to follow the shelter in place or quarantine orders ensuring personal safety and the safety of those around us. However, this too comes with significant challenges. As social beings, we crave real life human interaction which unfortunately has been limited. Psychological research indicates the unparalleled advantages of face to face relationships. Building intimacy with others can only truly come when we have the advantage of reading both verbal and non-verbal cues in real time. To sit across form someone and “feel” their energy. This dynamic is re-enforced both emotionally and physiologically. A secondary pitfall of isolation is the unfortunate reality of what naturally happens when individuals sit alone. All their emotional insecurities are given a chance to build and exacerbate over time. These negative emotions occur silently and begin to alter one’s core identity. A deep-rooted toxic shame or insecurity starts to build. Psychologists have been studying this phenomenon for years. It is a simple proven fact; Isolation leads to loneliness, which is a platform where layers of mental health issues arise. Depression, increased anxiety, fear, social phobia, low self-esteem, and other insecurities increase exponentially in isolation. Individuals who struggle with addiction or compulsive behaviors live in this reality ALL DAY for MONTHS and YEARS at a time. They experience loneliness and attempt to numb or escape from these devastating emotions. We have the unique privilege of working with individuals and families struggling with addiction on many levels. If there is one aspect that consistently show’s up, a common thread which exists in everyone struggling with addiction, it is isolation. In 20 years of hearing the painful stories, there is always one-story line that is a constant. That is, these people have been living alone for a very long time. The therapeutic process is exploring the origins of their chaotic drug use with the goal to assist them in understanding that they have experienced the consequences of a deeply rooted loneliness. These emotions have triggered so much pain and uncertainty all the while re-enforcing the desire to use and abuse drugs and alcohol with the hope of avoiding this emotional pain. Sustained loneliness increases psychological turmoil ultimately leading to the terrible self-destructive behaviors that we see. As we know, addiction is a surface level behavioral reaction to negative self-worth. It is “the disease of escape”. Individuals who have struggled with addiction, perpetually live and exist in a painful isolated state. In fact, a primary focus of recovery is the ability to connect with others. Residential treatment programs are designed to create environment for authentic and vulnerable connection. Much effort is placed on helping people develop real connection with others counteracting the terrible isolation they have experienced for years. Group therapy along with the well utilized Alcohol Anonymous programs facilitate a platform for individuals to identify with shared experiences of others slowly pulling them out of isolation. As individuals gain traction in their recovery, they begin to connect […]
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